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Transfer Nonsense

Transfer Nonsense
RE: Transfer Nonsense

StrumSolo > 15/06/2013, 15:57

Saturday 15th June

Bad news for fans of playground-style charges from defence, PSG are after Sideshow Dave. Another player possibly on his way out of Chelsea is John Obi Mikel, who’s apparently in talks with Galatasaray over a (you’ll like this) £16m move. That sound you can hear is Jose Mourinho starting the engine to his Maserati, getting ready to drive him there himself. On his way back he might pick up Robert Lewandowski. That one’s going on all summer, isn’t it?

David Moyes will have £60m to spend this summer, which will get him about three-quarters of a Cristiano Ronaldo. Unless…

David Villa isn’t going anywhere, which is bad news for Arsenal and Tottenham. The Gunners will get over it with a £25m bid for Gonzalo Higuan, while Spurs are sniffing around Paulinho, and are ready to bid £17m for the Corinthians midfielder. Sticking with Arsenal, Borussia Monchengladbach are definitely not interested in Niklas Bendtner, presumably after realising he’s nowhere near as good as he reckons he is.

Aleksander Kolarov could be off to Inter after getting bored of spending most of last season as Gael Clichy’s boot boy. One person not going anywhere though is Fabio Coloccini, who’s commited himself to one more year at Newcastle. He looks a bit like Sideshow Bob as well, come to think of it.
RE: Transfer Nonsense

StrumSolo > 17/06/2013, 10:36

Monday 17th June

Stop me if you think that you’ve heard this one before, but PSG are hoping to tempt Andre Villas-Boas into becoming their new manager by bidding £85m for Gareth Bale. Might work, might just make him angry though. They’re also after David Luiz, no word on AVB’s reaction to that one.

More déjà vu coming at you with the news that Chelsea and the Manchesters will miss out on Robert Lewandowski. He’s going to run his contract down and join Bayern Munich next summer instead.

Arsenal still want Gonzalo Higuan. Luis Suarez still wants to leave Liverpool…

Ooh, this one’s new! Barcelona and Bayern Munich are ‘battling it out’ for Arsenal’s Laurent Koscielny, £9.5m apparently. Listen, I said it was new, not that it was any good. Sticking with Arsenal, apparently they quite like the look of Nani, as do Monaco and Galatasaray. No mention of whether they want to do the deal now or next summer when he’ll be a free agent, though avoiding a transfer fee is probably preferable if they can help it.

Newcastle’s new ‘director of football’, Fuckin’ Joe Kinnear hasn’t wasted any time getting his feet under the table and is looking to sign Darren Bent and 17-year-old Frenchman Olivier Kemen from Metz. Anyone else think the Geordies’ new transfer policy is looking quite similar to the old one?

Southampton have offered £7.6m for Valencia’s Ever Banega and are also keen on Gary Hooper from Celtic.

And Bebe has realised the game is up at Man Utd. He wants a move to Sporting Lisbon, which still sounds a bit ambitious really. How much was he again?
RE: Transfer Nonsense

StrumSolo > 18/06/2013, 12:10

Tuesday 18th June

Well, Liverpool have certainly been busy. Henrikh Mkhitaryan is on his way to Anfield for a medical ahead of a £23m move. To get that deal done though they’ve had to compromise with West Ham on Andy Carroll’s fee. No mention of exactly how much of a hit they’ll be taking on that ever-so-wise £35m investment but the big man will be signing a 6 year, £100,000 a week contract with the Hammers. Wow. Luis Suarez still looks like he’s on his way out as well but he’ll have to hand in a transfer request before it happens.

Juventus are liking the cut of Carlos Tevez’s jib, which is good news for Arsenal in a roundabout way as they’ll now have a free run at Gonzalo Higuain of Real Madrid. Madrid will replace him with Luis Suarez and there we are back at the start, tidy. They’ll have to cope without Isco next season though. He’s signing for Man City in a £30m deal, as he wasn’t convinced he’d get enough first team football at Real.

If Chelsea want Nemanja Matic back it’ll cost them a sweet £38m. The Serbian centre half left Stamford Bridge as part of the David Luiz deal. You got bumped Chelsea, bumped.

And last but by every means least, Tottenham are STILL keen on David Villa, Paulinho and Leandro Damiao. Get some new rumours Tottenham! That Damiao one has been doing the rounds for about 3 years now…
RE: Transfer Nonsense

StrumSolo > 19/06/2013, 09:47

Wednesday 19th June

Didn’t you just KNOW that after scoring a hat-trick in the U21 final last night, that Thiago Alacantara would be linked with a Premier League club? Well here it is, Man Utd want him, and it’ll cost them £15m. You’d think Barca would want to keep hold of him, wouldn’t you?

Or not, apparently they’ve got their sights on a £30m move for Juan Mata. This would hinge on there being some truth in the rumours that Jose Mourinho is unconvinced by him, which seems a strange opinion to have of Chelsea’s best player over the last 2 years. Probably just nonsense though, as always.

Liverpool have £15m (or a £20m loss) burning a hole in their pocket after finally shifting Andy Carroll to West Ham and are looking to spend some of it on Christian Atsu of Porto and Luis Alberto from Sevilla. Andre Wisdom could be on his way out though, Fulham want him on loan. Presumably they haven’t realised that he’s well under 30, just 20 in fact.

Birmingham, still cashless as a result of all the Hong Kong-based corruption unpleasantness (God bless modern football), are probably going to have to sell their highly rated youngster Nathan Redmond. Crystal Palace, Swansea, Fulham and Norwich are forming an orderly queue with their £2ms.

And it’s bad news for Chelsea and Man City, Edinson Cavani is off to Real Madrid. They shouldn’t worry too much though, especially not once they realise Darren Bent is available, and for just £8m! Where’s his orderly queue??
RE: Transfer Nonsense

StrumSolo > 20/06/2013, 11:12

Thursday 20th June

After hearing it repeated and repeated, day after day, we all know that Edinson Cavani is leaving Napoli. Such old news. We’ve not heard much about a replacement for him though… What’s that? Luis Suarez? Yes, he’s after Champions League football, Rafa Benitez probably wouldn’t mind annoying Liverpool by nabbing their best player either. Let’s file this one under “Goer’.

And the Premier-League-players-off-to-Serie-A stories don’t stop there! Juventus want Aleksander Kolarov and Carlos Tevez. Not Milan though, they only want Tevez. What’s the matter? Kolarov not good enough for you?

Hulk’s had enough of being incredible in Russia, according to his friendly agent. A move to Chelsea, PSG or Monaco could be on the cards, which fans of any of those clubs would view as an, um, incredible signing. Incredible.

Let’s talk tricksy, young English wingers. Tom Ince, for example, Cardiff are willing to pay £8m to get the Blackpool man. There’s more on yesterday’s Transfer Nonsense star Nathan Redmond too. Roberto Martinez wants to take him to Everton for £3m. Hold on, it was £2m yesterday! Oh well, that’s inflation for you…

Plenty of Hull action to report today. Steve Bruce wants Carlton Cole on a free and is ready to pay £2.25m for the company of Curtis Davies. There’s talk of a move for Kasper Schmeichel too. Steady now.

And Gonzalo Higuain has agreed a £130,000 a week deal ahead of his £22m move to Arsenal. So that one’ll definitely be happening then. Looking forward to it.
RE: Transfer Nonsense

StrumSolo > 21/06/2013, 12:02

Friday 21st June

It looks like the Transfer Nonsense has knocked off early for the weekend, not much to report today.

But we’ll start with Isco’s on-off-on-off-on-off move to Man City. It’s on again apparently, with a £21m fee being mentioned, a nice reduction from £30m there. Well City do know how to drive a bargain…

One Spaniard not going anywhere though is Chelsea’s Juan Mata. Jose Mourinho will reassure him that he remains in his plans, and there ends one of the more ridiculous transfer stories of the summer, or does it??

Southampton are getting busy, and could shortly push their summer spending up to around the £40m mark. First they’ll need Celtic to sell them Victor Wanyama, £12m should do it though Cardiff are also keen, and then it’s off to Rome with a £17m offer for Italy striker Pablo Osvaldo. Not mucking about, are they?

Martin Skrtel probably isn’t going to Napoli but Yossi Benayoun might roll up at West Brom on a free.

And that’s about it, feel free to add your own rumours in the comments ‘cause I am clean out of goss!
RE: Transfer Nonsense

StrumSolo > 22/06/2013, 12:24

Saturday 22nd June

Plenty of Man Utd news today then. First up, Chelsea and Arsenal are preparing bids for Wayne Rooney. He’ll meet with David Moyes soon to discuss his future, and unless Moyes backtracks on Alex Ferguson’s claim that the England international submitted a transfer request last season, he’ll be off. To Chelsea preferably, tough luck Arsenal.

That Lewandowski chap has popped up again. Should the worst happen and Rooney leaves Utd, they’ll have a striker-shaped hole to fill, and with it looking unlikely that the Pole will join Bayern Munich this summer, Moyes wants to be kept up to date on his availability.

Apparently Thiago Alcantara is close to a £15m move, and would become David Moyes’ first signing. They’ll have to do without Marco van Ginkel though; the Vitesse Arnhem midfielder is set to join Chelsea instead.

And that’s all from Old Trafford, folks, we’re off to The Emirates. Here we see Arsene Wenger stroking his chin and looking thoughtful, pondering whether to trigger Marouane Fellaini’s £23m release clause. It’s enough to keep you up at night, especially if you’ve just shelled out the same amount on Gonzalo Higuain. Carry on like that and people will start expecting you to win trophies, or something equally vulgar.

Southampton have agreed a £10m fee with Celtic for Victor Wanyama. That sort of money has put Cardiff off but the Saints still face competition from Arsenal, Liverpool and Inter Milan for the Kenyan midfielder. Expect him to roll up shortly at Arsenal, Liverpool or Inter.

Wolves haven’t received any enquiries for Jamie O’Hara, which is odd, given his instrumental role in taking them all the way from the top flight to League 1.

Referees’ sweetheart Lee Cattermole has been told he can leave Sunderland. Got Hull written all over it, that one. And West Ham have put Ricardo Vaz Te, Modibo Maiga, Matt Taylor and Alou Diarra up for sale as they look to trim the Andy Carroll bill, sorry, wage bill.
RE: Transfer Nonsense

StrumSolo > 23/06/2013, 15:26

Sunday 23rd June

So it turns out Wayne Rooney wants to stay at Man Utd after all. That’s good, we can hear about something else for the rest of the summer now… Hang on, what’s that? It says here (in the Daily Star Sunday, and they don’t often get it wrong) that Utd will use him as part of a swap deal to bring Cristiano Ronaldo back to Old Trafford. Let’s leave the fact that swap deals almost NEVER happen to one side, and accept that they do get talked about quite a bit. More Rooney news tomorrow then I’d imagine.

Speaking of swap deals, here’s another one, also from The Star, and possibly more ridiculous than the last. Tottenham are preparing a £20m move for Christian Benteke (seems legit) and could offer Emmanuel Adebayor as part of the deal (ah). Can’t see the big man being too up for that really.

Liverpool are in full control of Luis Suarez’s future, and that’s according to Brendan Rodgers himself. Good stuff. In unrelated news, Liverpool are worried that Real Madrid won’t bid for Luis Suarez until the end of the summer, which would presumably knacker their spending plans. Also, Man City could move for him after being put off by the £53m price tag slapped on his Uruguayan team-mate Edinson Cavani by Napoli.

Moving on to Liverpool arrivals, they’re battling it out (doesn’t say if there’s weapons involved) with Arsenal for the affections of Schalke’s Kyriakos Papadopoulos, and are in competition (which sounds less dangerous) with Everton and Crystal Palace for Wigan striker Arouna Kone. Far be it from me to tell Brendan Rodgers what to do, but I’d focus on the former if I were him.

Arsenal are having a right ol’ spend up, and are ready to splash a whole £8m on Swansea’s Ashley Williams. He’s up for it as well. They’re also ‘prepared’ to bid £20m for Wayne Rooney (him again), which is good of them.

It won’t be long before Marco van Ginkel rolls up at Stamford Bridge, not now Jose Mourinho has assured him of regular first team football. What the Special One didn’t tell him is that the regular first team football would be at a top half Bundesliga club, on loan, for the next 2-3 years.

And Mark Hughes’ Sexy Football Stoke Revolution continues apace with news that he’s looking to sign Stephen Ireland from Aston Villa reserves. Mouth-watering.
RE: Transfer Nonsense

chub > 23/06/2013, 15:39

(15/06/2013, 15:57)ScottyRampant Wrote: Saturday 15th June

David Villa isn’t going anywhere, which is bad news for Arsenal and Tottenham. The Gunners will get over it with a £25m bid for Gonzalo Higuan, while Spurs are sniffing around Paulinho, and are ready to bid £17m for the Corinthians midfielder.

Paulinho has himself said that Tottenham have had a bid accepted, make of that what you will.
RE: Transfer Nonsense

StrumSolo > 24/06/2013, 09:39

Monday 24th June

I’ll start with an apology. Yesterday I promised that there would be more Rooney Nonsense coming your way today. But after a quick look through the morning papers, nothing, not a murmur. Perhaps this is a calm-before-the-storm type scenario and he'll back, bigger and better than ever tomorrow.

More Thiago Alcantara news though! On the one hand, speculation that Barcelona are about to offer him a new deal could scupper any chance of a United move, but on the other, his dad (1994 World Cup winning Brazilian midfielder Mazinho, fact fans) thinks Old Trafford is the place to be. There’s no actual quotes to back this up, but don’t let that put you off.

The Joy of Modern Football Part 3,653: Victor Wanyama’s agents (plural) are urging him to snub a move to Southampton and sign for Galatasaray or Fenerbache instead, due to the lower rate of income tax in Turkey. The Saints are also set to miss out on Bologna’s Radja Nainggolan and Pablo Osvaldo of Roma.

Norwich have joined the race for Arouna Kone, the Wigan striker has a £5m release clause apparently. Laurent Blanc is considering bidding for David Luiz should he be appointed as PSG manager and Curtis Davies should complete his £2.3m move from Birmingham to Hull today.

And that’s about it. I moan about all the Rooney chat but sure do miss it when it’s gone. Come home soon Wayne, all is forgiven.
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