Jokes |
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22/07/2017, 12:33
Post: #1101
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RE: Jokes
My 18 year old daughter bought herself a rabbit. I'm starting to think it's possessed. I've never seen it, there are strange groans coming from upstairs, that and all the clocks and remote controls in the house have stopped working.
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The following 2 users say Thank You to gymaddict69 for this post:Jester62, StrumSolo |
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23/07/2017, 15:03
Post: #1102
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RE: Jokes
The police asked me to identify what they thought was my wife's body. They pulled the sheet back to show her face. "I can't be certain". I told them. The sheet went back a bit further to reveal her breasts. "sorry I'm still not sure". They took the sheet completely off and I had a good look. "That's definitely not her, officer. My wife's at home!"
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The following 1 user says Thank You to gymaddict69 for this post: StrumSolo |
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28/07/2017, 19:28
Post: #1103
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RE: Jokes
My mate walked into the pub last night with a massive black eye.
"How did you get that?" i asked. He replied. "I was banging my neighbours wife over her kitchen table when we heard the front door open, she said its my husband quick use the back door....... Thinking about it i should have run, but you don't get offers like that every day?" |
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The following 2 users say Thank You to gymaddict69 for this post: Jester62, StrumSolo |
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29/07/2017, 18:15
Post: #1104
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RE: Jokes
Went to a blindfolded bukkake party last night.
Don't know what came over me. I'm disappointed with the new Haribo Star Wars selection. They're all chewy I was fixing up my mate's car, and he asked me to put a spoiler on the back of it. So I carved into the boot - 'Bruce Willis is a ghost in The Sixth Sense'. |
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The following 1 user says Thank You to gymaddict69 for this post: StrumSolo |
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04/08/2017, 10:13
Post: #1105
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RE: Jokes
I must admit, I do frown upon Pornography.
But that's only because I'm concentrating. My sat-nav has Bonnie Tyler as its Celebrity voice. The trouble is, it keeps telling me to turn around.. and every now and then it falls apart |
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The following 2 users say Thank You to gymaddict69 for this post: parkaner, StrumSolo |
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04/08/2017, 12:40
Post: #1106
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RE: Jokes
![[Image: screenshot-2017-may-18-008.jpg]](https://s2.postimg.org/daal2axeh/screenshot-2017-may-18-008.jpg)
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The following 1 user says Thank You to parkaner for this post: StrumSolo |
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05/08/2017, 14:14
Post: #1107
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RE: Jokes
I've stopped asking my Scottish mate to do me favours.
"Knee problem" Poor excuse Pal! I want to the sperm clinic today, the receptionist asked if I would like to masturbate in the cup... I said, "I'm good, but I'm not sure I'm ready for competition." |
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The following 2 users say Thank You to gymaddict69 for this post: parkaner, StrumSolo |
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09/08/2017, 14:29
Post: #1108
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RE: Jokes
![[Image: funny_ugly.jpg]](https://s2.pixxxels.org/ut6gwxdeh/funny_ugly.jpg)
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The following 2 users say Thank You to parkaner for this post: gymaddict69, StrumSolo |
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11/08/2017, 22:23
Post: #1109
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RE: Jokes
I swallowed some scrabble letters by accident.
My next shit could spell trouble. "Holmes, why are you spreading that yellow curd all over my bum hole?” "Lemon entry, my dear Watson." I'm a bit disappointed by the sales of my latest invention, it's a one toed sandal for one legged amputees, it's looking like it's going to be a flop. |
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12/08/2017, 18:10
Post: #1110
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RE: Jokes
"You've got liquorice all over your penis," said the doctor. "What've you been up to?"
"Fucking allsorts," I replied Son: Why is my sister called Teresa? Dad: Coz your mum loves Easter - it's an anagram Son: Thanks dad Dad: No problem Alan |
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The following 1 user says Thank You to gymaddict69 for this post: parkaner |
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