Woman finds used condom in bag of Tesco kale

[ReedeFox]

I've often heard stories about people finding weird shit in their supermarket food and it always baffles me as to how it got there. Like how the fuck are bits of metal and mice just getting into your Heinz Beans?!



If you thought a rodent was bad, just wait until you see what this woman found lurking in her bag of curly kale. Chrissie Gilbert was whipping together a healthy dinner for her family when she put her hand in a bag of kale and pulled out a handful and whacked it on the plate. All was well. It wasn't until the next evening that she went to use the rest of the kale when she notices something in the bag. Upon closer inspection Chrissie saw a used condom just nestled amongst the leaves. A FUCKING JIZZ-FILLED CONDOM!!!



Clearly she was sick to her stomach, especially because her whole family had eaten the kale the night before. Chrissie was so worried her family might have caught something she took them all to the clap clinic for STD tests. Well you would wouldn't you?! Chrissie said:
 

I just stood there for ages looking at it wondering what it was and ridiculously picked it up to look. I dropped it when I realised what it was then used kitchen roll to pick it back up. You could tell it was used as it looked a bit stained. In their opinion it was added post purchase – so either me or my husband, who’s a health and safety assistant, added it. Do they think we haven’t got anything better to do than put a used condom in kale ourselves? I was incredulous when I got that response.The report said it was “highly unlikely” it was contaminated during the manufacturing process. It might well be very unlikely but it happened, it’s come from somewhere.I don’t even like kale, I just eat it because it’s healthy.

 


I dunno how healthy munching on a used condom is?! I'm pretty shocked that Tesco basically accused her of putting the condom in the bag herself. Like who the fuck would even do that? I reckon it happened like this; two bored factory workers were going at it but had to get rid of the evidence sharpish before their suprvisor, who was the female workers husband, found them. Boom. Scandelous. Fuck you Jessica Fletcher, I've solved the mystery!

[FantasticMR]

So many bones of contention with this article, let me get started?

Like how the fuck are bits of metal and mice just getting into your Heinz Beans?!

Who do you think works on the factory lines? It's Brexit prep for when all of those super cheap Eastern Europeans have to leave Blighty. 



Regarding the consumption of the kale adjacent to the semen filled prophylactic. 

Clearly she was sick to her stomach, especially because her whole family had eaten the kale the night before. Chrissie was so worried her family might have caught something she took them all to the clap clinic for STD tests. 

Feeding them kale! She should be more worried that her kids end up walking like this.



(2 for 2 on that gif today.)



I'm pretty shocked that Tesco basically accused her of putting the condom in the bag herself. Like who the fuck would even do that? 

Pikeys, pikeys would do that without a 2nd thought. They just need to suffer the loss of the family jonny for the process.

 

[ReedeFox]

That's proper true about the pikeys. I saw three pikey blokes in TGI Fridays complaining that there was hair in their food and that they were guna go to nandos because they felt so sick. All well and good except they'd all ordered platters, eaten the lot, and then didn't wana pay. Faaackin pikeys!

[parkaner]

How did it get there?
Just cos.
This is the tip of an iceberg.
It needs a dressing.