So as you all know Lord Briss has to endure all manner of tedium.

Frightful weather, trips to that London in steerage, copious amounts of tiresome and poorly punctuated prose from maladjusted trouser bandits, and all on an empty stomach. Did you know Briss actually has to travel to California in January. Can you imagine my distress.

It really is a wonder that I have the strength to carry on at all.

However at times like these I find a great deal of comfort knowing that the good ladies of Rampant TV will be therefore me 24/7.

Now that me ol'grundy shufflers is what separates the ruling classes from the rest.

Breeding. You cannot buy it, you cannot fake it, it is one of those undeniable facts. Breeding is why we have natural leaders. Briss endured those cold showers and endless spankings from matron so that you could all fling yourselves over the top confident that your leader had a decent brandy in his hip flask !

:D

Captain Briss Sir, your minions will follow you into the bowels of the earth!

Got woken up at an ungodly 7:30 this morning. Coal delivery.

Asked for it to be left in the bags but the scoundrel tipped it straight down my chute (oo-er).

So there I am, before breakfast, before a coffee and even cigarette shovelling 300lb of coal in to the store.

The tedious shite...

(18/12/2013, 09:30)ScottyRampant Wrote: Got woken up at an ungodly 7:30 this morning. Coal delivery.

Asked for it to be left in the bags but the scoundrel tipped it straight down my chute (oo-er).

So there I am, before breakfast, before a coffee and even cigarette shovelling 300lb of coal in to the store.

The tedious shite...

I would have thought that was a job for your man servant ?

(18/12/2013, 09:30)ScottyRampant Wrote: Got woken up at an ungodly 7:30 this morning. Coal delivery.

Asked for it to be left in the bags but the scoundrel tipped it straight down my chute (oo-er).

So there I am, before breakfast, before a coffee and even cigarette shovelling 300lb of coal in to the store.

The tedious shite...

Kinell Scotty where are you living Victorian London? i suppose you will be going over to Dickens's place for your Christmas dinner, the biggest goose in the butchers window, followed by figgy pudding, washed down with a gallon of cheap Gin!

Oh hang on theres a knock at the door, its probably my man from BNFL with my 2 grammes of enriched Uranium to see my reactor through the winter months!

(18/12/2013, 11:21)clitterbug Wrote: Kinell Scotty where are you living Victorian London?

It's a step up from the workhouse, shouldn't grumble really.

Well it looks as though Fortnums have done Briss proud again this year.

Amongst the assorted finery in this years hamper I unearthed a rather cheeky Crusty Port that is new to old Briss. A 2003 from W & J Graham.

It took a while too settle, and as you know these things cannot be rushed, but once decanted it really has warmed the cockles.

I have paired it with a Cohiba Siglo IV and I have to tell you Grahams Crusty and Fidel's finest make the most charming bed fellows.

So what is my dilema I hear you ask ?

Up the apples and pears to the loving bosom of the current Mrs Briss, or another glass of Mr Grahams finest ? I suppose as its Christmas.................but then I did get her that new ironing board for Christmas !


The tedious shite......

Fucking Cumbria.

Did god move ALL of the rain in the world to Cartmel in Cumbria.

Is it THE wettest place in the world.

The Amazonian rain forest HA ! Like a fucking desert compared to Cumbria.

Poor Briss got soaked simply running from car to hostelry - then he finds his eye offended by the ugliest barmaid every to pull a pint south of Inverness. (and for those of you that have been to Inverness I can assure you this swamp donkey was one ugly spawn of beelzebub.)

So Briss is piss wet through, eyes still smarting at the unsightly apparition mixing his cocktail, and he has still not been offered any vittels !

The tedious mind numbing shite that keeps Briss from contentment and enlightenment..........

(11/01/2014, 17:56)Hilary Briss Wrote: Poor Briss got soaked simply running from car to hostelry - then he finds his eye offended by the ugliest barmaid every to pull a pint south of Inverness. (and for those of you that have been to Inverness I can assure you this swamp donkey was one ugly spawn of beelzebub.)

So are you trying to convince us that you won't be doing her later?

(11/01/2014, 17:56)Hilary Briss Wrote: Cartmel in Cumbria

Not one of your more glamorous jaunts is it?

(11/01/2014, 18:36)RussyRover Wrote: So are you trying to convince us that you won't be doing her later?

Ha!