Experts say it's time to ditch the loo roll, as it makes your ass dirtier!

[ReedeFox]

Apparently we all need to ditch the bog roll because it’s actually making our asses dirtier, not cleanse! Yup. 

  

Rose George, author of The Big Necessity: The Unmentionable World of Human Waste and Why It Matters, says: 
 

I find it rather baffling that millions of people are walking around with dirty anuses while thinking they are clean. Toilet paper moves shit, but it doesn't remove it. He says we should all be using bidets as not only are they more environmentally friendly than loo roll, but the water does a better job of cleaning your ass.

All well and good, but who the fuck has bidets these days? Most new-build houses barely have enough space for the bath, let alone a fucking bidet! A cheaper solution is using those flushable wet wipes. Will.i.am is a fan of them apparently, saying:  
 

Here’s proof on why people should have baby wipes. Get some chocolate, wipe it on a wooden floor, and then try to get it up with some dry towels. You’re going to get chocolate in the cracks. 

Nice. It’s all good advice. Be kind to your buttholes, folks!

[Hilary Briss]

A gentlemans ring is his own private kingdom.

You girl should not put your nose where it is not wanted.

[parkaner]

Hmmm....I wondered why the drinking fountain was so close to the ground.

[burns72]

Briss have heard your arse is the perfect match for Diane Abbotts face, and they both excrete the same amount of shit day after day! And probably both been embedded on Corbyn's member.

[StrumSolo]

Briss have heard your arse is the perfect match for Diane Abbotts face, and they both excrete the same amount of shit day after day! And probably both been embedded on Corbyn's member.

Morning burns lad.

Odd leap to Diane Abbott there. Please show your working.

[Hilary Briss]

Briss have heard your arse is the perfect match for Diane Abbotts face, and they both excrete the same amount of shit day after day! And probably both been embedded on Corbyn's member.

Please show your working. 

FFS, you going to give the witless cunt en extra mark ?

[burns72]

Witless Briss how very dare you, I am just a mere shadow of yourself when it comes to being witless! Have heard that Harry Hill tells jokes about you and he still can't raise a laugh unless he uses the canned laughter that he has for every shitty show he has ever done, he is as funny as a bad case of the shits!

[FantasticMR]

Witless Briss how very dare you, I am just a mere shadow of yourself when it comes to being witless! Have heard that Harry Hill tells jokes about you and he still can't raise a laugh unless he uses the canned laughter that he has for every shitty show he has ever done, he is as funny as a bad case of the shits!

Harry Hill is hilarious.

[burns72]

FantasticMR sorry but you should lose all of those 203 reputation points for that last comment, I have lost some respect for you now HH has not and never will be funny. He joins the unfunny club with Joe Pasquale, Peter Kay and Paddy McGuinness!

[StrumSolo]

FantasticMR sorry but you should lose all of those 203 reputation points for that last comment, I have lost some respect for you now HH has not and never will be funny. He joins the unfunny club with Joe Pasquale, Peter Kay and Paddy McGuinness!

Too mainstream for burns and his Brighton liberal elite mates, that mob.

He prefers to work a little harder for his chuckles thank you very much!