I never knew that wanking was such a dangerous activity but apparently people are now dying from it. I don’t know how true this story is seeing as the sources aren’t the most reliable but apparently a 33-year-old man from Bloemfontein, South Africa died on Valentine’s Day after masturbating 62 times in a row.

 

David Mabuza, who lived with his parents, was found dead in his room last week after wanking himself senseless, resulting in a heart attack. His family said that David was suffering from depression and was “extremely lonely” on Valentine’s Day. Here’s what his mum told reporters: 
 

Quote:1 hour passed since I had called him out for lunch. David was the kind of boy to steal food off your plate when you were not looking, i knew something was wrong when he didn’t come out to eat, he was a great kid.

 


Police officer Ronny Mkhize described the bizarre scene he was met with when he arrived at David’s house: 
 

Quote:The young man was on his bed… his penis was detached from his body, it must have been so intense it just came off his body, we found his penis gripped in his left hand so tightly we couldn’t get it out, it was tragic.

 
Sounds a bit far fetched to me. Also, how would anyone know he tossed off 62 times?! Surely a postmortem isn’t that accurate?! Whether this is real or fake news, I wouldn’t let it stop you from yanking your plank, so crack on!

Sounds like Briss our resident tosser, hopefully this will serve as a warning and he will calm down on the masturbation marathon, that I hear is a regular part of his daily routine! ???

(20/02/2019, 01:40)burns72 Wrote: Sounds like Briss our resident tosser, hopefully this will serve as a warning and he will calm down on the masturbation marathon, that I hear is a regular part of his daily routine! ???

Sick burn, burns.



Though when pondering who among us would be most likely to suffer a similar fate, Briss wasn't the name that came to mind.

Plot twist: It was you, burns!

I won't believe it until I see it.   on 2nd thoughts, don.t want to see it. so that's where the expression-' pull yourself off'- comes from. at least he's cured his depression