It was the current Lady Briss's birthday today. Now Lord Briss knows an opportunity for a gentleman's enquiry when he sees one, so currency in hand Briss trots down to the retailer in question to procure said elastic loosener.

Now Briss is a traditional type of chap and his grasp of current affairs is not always shall we say current. The last time Briss paid his Tailor there was a 3 day week, the bins were piled high, and Saville's charitable works were still funded by the BBC. Briss has rarely been concerned with the price of eggs.

Now shopping should always be carried out with military precision. No prisoners as it were. Locate said item, find a young lady to wrap it for you, and have your man arrange delivery to the apple of your eye. Well Briss was clearly amused when the young filly suggested that payment ought to be made before the goods were to leave the shop. However his persuasion worsened when the insolent harpy presented Lord Briss with the Bill.

NINE HUNDRED BASTARD QUID Lord Briss was heard to exclaim as the nice chap from security reminded him where his man had parked the car.

You can rest assured that Mrs Briss's virtue has remained in tact and the good ladies of rampant.tv will indeed be basking in the warm glow of Briss's affections for the near future. The loosening of Mrs Briss's britches will be remain a fine and rare treat, leap years only until such time as common decency and the great British virtue of "putting things on account" returns to the high st !

And I might add that said retail establishment will not be carrying the Briss coat of Arms anymore !

NINE HUNDRED BASTARD QUID! that certainly is a huge pile of bally rhino for a birthday card, you should have gone to Funkypigeon.com
Miserable bastard, go n get her a prezzy, and just keep in mind its your sweaty sex face she sees baring down on her during coitis!

(24/02/2014, 18:30)clitterbug Wrote: NINE HUNDRED BASTARD QUID! that certainly is a huge pile of bally rhino for a birthday card, you should have gone to Funkypigeon.com
Miserable bastard, go n steal her a prezzy, and just keep in mind its your sweaty sex face she sees baring down on her during coitis!

PittaBread my old China, I fear arranging Lady Briss's Birthday present Scouse stylie might have rendered old Briss incarcerated. Lord Briss does not consider "shop lifting" to be a gentlemanly pursuit worthy of the Briss reputation.

Dont worry chaps. £4.99 at the garage did the trick !

(25/02/2014, 18:16)Hilary Briss Wrote: Dont worry chaps. £4.99 at the garage did the trick !

She charged you that much?

Her rates must have gone up...

Odd choice of location too.

Lubrication old boy.