If You're Gonna Get Fat...

[spitefulI]

Darby’s in London , I salute you. One of the finest meals I’ve ever had. Just look at this.

Ham and cheese sandwich for lunch. Again.   

Tinned sardines in tomato sauce with cottage cheese, peas and a mashed sweet potato for me. Gym life got me eating that 4 times a week.   

I just smoke cigs and drink unlimited coffee. Always maintained that caffeine + nicotine = protein. Breakfast of champions.  

The Breakfast of Champions is Pussy you flatulent fucktard. Accept no substitute.

Coffee and cigarettes make you smell like a tweed clad 1970’s history teacher, which is fine if being arrested for grooming the upper sixth is your bag, so who am I to judge.

However the very finest Breakfast is 40% proof, illegal in most countries, and will make you grin like a maladjusted gurnard on a charabanc to Whitby.

Jeez. 

We need a book, teach us your ways. "The Escapades Of The Gentleman Debauchee".