ZOO KEEPERS REVEAL WHICH ANIMALS ARE THE BIGGEST ASSHOLES

[ReedeFox]

I've always been fascinated by animals and I believe they are so much smarter than people give them credit for. Recently on Reddit someone posted a question asking zoo keepers what animals are the biggest assholes. This is what people responded with:

I used to volunteer at the Omaha Zoo, and there was the story of Fu Manchu, the orangutan.


Apparently, one of the keepers found Fu and some of his buddies hanging out outside of their enclosure and ushered them back in. When it happened again, the keeper thought someone was leaving the enclosure open. It happened so much that someone was about to get fired over it. Finally, someone witnessed Fu climbing through an air vent to get to the door, pulling it open enough to expose a gap, then pulling a piece of wire from his mouth and using the wire to undo the latch and open the door. He'd been hiding the wire in between his gums and lips to engineer his escape.
Only a dick move because he almost got people fired. Otherwise, it was slick as hell.

THIS ONE FUCKING OCTOPUS.


I was volunteering at an aquarium in the cephalopod section. One day the power was out, so we were on backup generators and we were running all over to make sure everything necessary to keep the animals alive was still running. The tanks where we kept the giant pacific octopuses (these octopuses are about 8 or 9 feet across) didn't have a solid top to close it up - instead the top portion of the tank is covered by astroturf. Octopus suckers can't work on astroturf, so they can't climb out. In theory.

This bitch jams herself into the water outtake in her tank while no one is paying attention. Water keeps going in, but none can get out. She makes a fucking waterfall out of the tank and tries to ride it to freedom. We caught her just after she flopped onto the floor. They're just too fucking smart!

Not a facility I work at currently but we had a kookaburra who would catch lizards, snakes, frogs, and even earthworms so he could feed them to you. You would be standing around doing your job and all of a sudden he shows up on your shoulder trying to force feed you a lizard he whacked on the ground 30 times.

Oh by the way if you covered your mouth, why not try the ear? The ear is a great place to put a dead lizard or live earthworm...

I work with Chimpanzees and I'll tell you when the girls are in estrous (think of kind of being "in heat" for dogs) they are just down right mean to the males of their troops sometimes even going as far as taking prized food items right out of the mouths of some of the lower ranking males. I've also seen fights between chimpanzees (which is completely normal as aggression is central to their social hierarchies) where the fight had finally died down and everyone was making up with one another as they usually do until one of the females who wasn't done arguing handed one of the males a rock to throw at another female whom she was still mad at. This of course led to the fight starting all over again.

I was an intern at a zoo about ten years ago and elephants are basically one ton toddlers. Three year olds that can murder you during a tantrum... the one there would get upset if you didn't say good morning to her. She threw a rock at a night watchman for not saying hi, broke his ribs... She once shattered the windshield to the hay truck with a rock because it drove too fast past her enclosure. She threw a log at a keeper because they were cleaning up branches after a storm and didn't notice her trying to help and hand them one.... so she threw it at them. She got mad one day after her friend passed away from old age and tried to throw a keeper through the fence.... Basically, elephants are just hyper-emotional three year olds with a mean streak...

[Hilary Briss]

Goats are all cunts.

In my experience.

Bastards.

[ReedeFox]

I 100% agree. All goats are indeed assholes.