Where else to start than with the news that
Nicklas Bendtner has linked himself with a January move to either Real Madrid or Barcelona. Always good to keep your options open, just in case one of them doesn’t fancy it like… Got to be Gareth Bale money if he does go, just as well, because if the papers are to be believed Arsenal are set to make bids for
Alessio Cerci, Alexandre Pato, Saido Berahino, Ignazio Abate, Will Hughes and
Edin Dzeko. And that lot won’t come cheap at all.
David Moyes just won’t settle, not until he’s signed a central midfielder from La Liga. It’s
Xabi Alonso or
Andres Iniesta this week, though Jose Mourinho might have something to say about the former.
Leighton Baines too, still.
Martin Jol’s been having a terrible time of it at Fulham lately. What he needs is another lazy so-and-do from Man Utd (
Anderson) and while he’s there he’ll take
Wilfried Zaha on loan too. Can never have too many luxury players, can you?
You have to feel for Chelsea, where are the goals coming from? Torres? Probably not. Ba? Ha! And the less said about Daniel Sturridge and Romelu Lukaku’s woes on Merseyside the better. Those two couldn’t hit a cow’s arse with a banjo, and the first two may well be sold this January;
Ba to Turkey and
Torres to anyone who’ll take him. Their replacements?
Jackson Martinez and
Radamel Falcao, both of whom look pretty good, for now. Berahino’s been mentioned as well but what chance have they got against a Bendtner-bounty-flashing Arsene Wenger?
Man City need a keeper, and
Julio Cesar would probably prefer a spot on their bench to QPR’s. A defender wouldn’t go amiss either,
Kurt Zouma or
Sergio Ramos could be the lucky guys there. Barca want
Sergio Aguero though. Bloody hell…
Question: What do
Diego Costa,
Will Hughes and
Jackson Martinez all have in common? Answer: They’re all massive fans of The Office. Good news for David Brent impersonator Brendan Rodgers, who in his spare time manages Liverpool, who just so happen want to sign all three.
Napoli, Aston Villa and Newcastle all like the look of
Mousa Dembele from Tottenham, who in turn like the look of Jackson Martinez (him again) and
Neilton (the new Neymar).
Also, Hull want
Shane Long. £6.5m.
Image source