So the briss finds him self chillin with the beautiful people in Cannes.

What a fucking place. Leather skinned gold slippered reptiles everywhere you look.

They are so well preserved that I am sure most of them have been deceased for some time.

Apparently Cannes was the playground of the Nazi party under the rule of the Vichy government. I see the attraction, sunshine, cracking rations, and hot french totty. If I was Oberleutenant Herr Twatty Cunt I too would be mooring my sub in the harbour.

Shame they are all still here, preserved by Gin and Dior, promenading for all eternity.

The Town Where It Is Illegal To Die


CemeteryThere is a town in southwest France where it is now illegal to die because the cemetery has no more room.

Below is the article from The Sydney Morning Herald

The mayor of a village in southwest France has threatened residents with severe punishment if they die, because there is no room left in the overcrowded cemetery to bury them.

In an ordinance posted in the council offices, Mayor Gerard Lalanne told the 260 residents of the village of Sarpourenx that “all persons not having a plot in the cemetery and wishing to be buried in Sarpourenx are forbidden from dying in the parish.”

It added: “Offenders will be severely punished.”

The mayor said he was forced to take drastic action after an administrative court in the nearby town of Pau ruled in January that the acquisition of adjoining private land to extend the cemetery would not be justified.

Lalanne, who celebrated his 70th birthday on Wednesday and is standing for election to a seventh term in this month’s local elections, said he was sorry that there had not been a positive outcome to the dilemma.

“It may be a laughing matter for some, but not for me,” he said.

Just how are they going to severely punish offenders considering that the offenders will be dead? Are they going to bring them back to life and kill them again? Seriously, this mayor is just setting himself up to be the laughing stock of the world by announcing something so ridiculous.

So Briss 'cums' in Cannes now eh! be careful down there Bristles, dont forget to slap plenty of factor 600 under your Bobby Charlton comb over! you dont want to get burned courting a rich widow, your not walking the rainy streets of Salford now y'know, Gladioli in your arse pocket looking for a 'Girl Friend in a Coma'

(08/10/2013, 19:47)clitterbug Wrote: So Briss 'cums' in Cannes now eh! be careful down there Bristles, dont forget to slap plenty of factor 600 under your Bobby Charlton comb over! you dont want to get burned courting a rich widow, your not walking the rainy streets of Salford now y'know, Gladioli in your arse pocket looking for a 'Girl Friend in a Coma'

Yeah Briss, there might be music and people but they're certainly not young and alive.

Careful now.

(08/10/2013, 19:47)clitterbug Wrote: So Briss 'cums' in Cannes now eh! be careful down there Bristles, dont forget to slap plenty of factor 600 under your Bobby Charlton comb over! you dont want to get burned courting a rich widow, your not walking the rainy streets of Salford now y'know, Gladioli in your arse pocket looking for a 'Girl Friend in a Coma'

Dear oh dear PittaBread, I see your long weekend on the IOM has not improved your persuasion.

You did claim that you managed to slip Mrs C a length - I am calling you a fruad Twattyrag !

You have lost none of your bile and scouse envy. This not the behaviour of a man relaxed and at ease with the world, a man fresh back from a mucky weekend, a man chafed. You do not have the aire of a man wallowing in the glow of excessive and emphatic trouser action.

Oh contraire Mr Nippywank, you Sir resemble a man bereft, a man without, a man peeved at his lot. No grundy foxtrot for you Sir !!!

Briss had been going out with a girl
Her name was Julie
But last night she said to him
While they were watching telly
She said, Listen Briss i love you
But theres this bloke i fancy
I dont wanna 2 time you, so its the end for you n me.

Yeah Yeah its not faiir !

I was so upset that i cried
All the way to the chip shop
When i came out there was Gordon
Standing at the bus stop.
Fucking brilliant, they just dont write em like that anymore!

(09/10/2013, 15:27)clitterbug Wrote: I was so upset that i cried
All the way to the chip shop
When i came out there was Gordon
Standing at the bus stop.
Fucking brilliant, they just dont write em like that anymore!

Thank fuck.

And all he got was this lousey Tshirt