Sometimes I have days where nothing seems to go right - my winged eyeliner might look wonky or I accidentally shave too much off my landing strip making it look like Hitler’s moustache. However, as bad as my day gets, it ain’t as bad as the useless pleb who was caught with drugs up his butthole after he accidentally shot himself in the testicle. Honestly, you can’t make this stuff up.
27-year-old Cameron Jeffery Wilson was actin the big man in the mirror with a pistol in the front pocket of his jeans when it somehow went off and he ended up shooting himself in the bollock. As the wound needed medical attention, he took himself off to hospital but whilst under the knife, a bag of marijuana slid out of his asshole, which caused doctors to alert the cops.
Whilst police were searching through Cameron’s things, they also discovered a bag a meth in the pocket of his jeans. Err, why keep the seed up your ass and the meth in your pocket? Surely it should be the other way round??
Cameron is clearly a hapless criminal because not only did he get caught with an unlicensed gun and drugs up his ass, but he’s also in shit for telling his girlfriend not to cooperate with police. So now he’s being charged with tampering with a witness alongside possession of controlled substances and unlawful possession of a firearm. What a tool!