Doctors had to call in the bomb squad after a man came in to Gloucester hospital with a WWII anti-tank shell stuck up his anus. Bomb squad technicians reported to the scene after doctors feared that the WWII shell would explode.

 

The guy, who preferred to remain anonymous (as you would) reportedly told doctors that he "slipped and fell" onto the shell, which measured a humongous 17cm by 6cm. Why do these dudes always act like they fell?! Do they think doctors haven’t heard this shit a million times before. Like you just so happened to fall down naked on a phallic shaped object and your asshole just happened to stretch over it and accommodate it?! Get the fuck outta here. Thankfully the guy was ok and no one was blown to smithereens.

I was speaking to two biologists around 10 years ago who said they were in a hospital where a section was sandbagged for the very same reason. I should not hear about bombs of war up a guys arsehole twice. The Matrix is running out of things to tell me.