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Bruges

Bruges
Bruges

Hilary Briss > 27/08/2014, 22:41

Is nice.

No beggars, no big issue twats, no illegals flogging tat, in fact no riff raff of any sort.

Its actually a little bit sterile.

I actually came back here tonight to see if our resident compo cadging vagrant was around. To feel superior all the time is not easy, so I need a ClittySnug fix to remind to of the correct scheme of things.

I mean after all where would the ruling classes be without the potless, feckless, work-shy masses to rule over.

So there you have it, should you find your faith in ol'Blighty shaken by some bearded prick wittering on about some new pre-revenue app bollocks you have never heard of, just pop over to Belgium to remind yourself how jolly splendid ones lot actually is. Enjoy a slap up lunch of mussels and frites and a case of their rather fine beer, but dont forget to raise your glass to The Empire. Just try and keep the renditions of Jerusalem down to one verse and that nasty policeman fellow wont drag you off to the cells. Wanker.

Talking of bearded wankers, I have only seen one since I ventured forth to the continent, and that fucker was on a day trip form that London. It seems that being in your early 20's and sporting more facial hair than Yogi bear is not the done thing Sausage Side. You should have seen the nob, perfectly trimmed hair and beard, red socks and loafers, and his jeans rolled up slightly more than is legal. I pretended to be French when he asked me for a light for his motley roll up. Old Briss dished out the finest Gallic shrug he could muster, and then muttered "merde" whilst puffing out his chest in a fit of Napoleonic disdain. It was my way of showing the twat that Hemmingway was actually a massive cock, captain Haddock would never pull a bird, and the late victorian arctic adventurer get up is very 2013.
Now clearly passing ones self off as French should only be done in an extreme emergency, after all the phrase Turncoat was invented for our dear french cousins, but when needs must, and a beardy sets out to converse with you willy nilly, then it is forgivable.

So where was I.

Bruges. Jolly nice.

Carry on.
RE: Bruges

dVIOUS > 28/08/2014, 11:01

Have you punched a yankee yet?
RE: Bruges

iamme > 28/08/2014, 12:24

or shot a midget?
RE: Bruges

Hilary Briss > 28/08/2014, 23:32

(28/08/2014, 11:01)dVIOUS Wrote: Have you punched a yankee yet?

Yes thank you.

But it is not all it is cracked up to be.
RE: Bruges

Hilary Briss > 28/08/2014, 23:56

(28/08/2014, 12:24)iamme Wrote: or shot a midget?

No, but for you anything darling.

So tomorrow Briss must suffer a fate worse than The Pink Flamingo.

Yes, you guessed correctly, France.

At the border your illustrious hero must extend the welcome of every orifice to that squadron of penis pilots known as le gendarmerie. As you can imagine when a fine figure of a man such as Briss shimmies up to the border crossing there is quite a melee. However for the Rampant Massive, there is no hardship know to man that Briss will not happily undertake. In fact for you maladjusted parliament of baboons Briss sniggers in the face of of cavity search, he guffaws at the oncoming showdown with a garlic munching Pernod queen and a rubber glove that extends to the shoulder.

Have no fear my rampant brethren, Briss will keep a stiff upper lip.

The Empire !
RE: Bruges

The Boss > 29/08/2014, 10:02
RE: Bruges

Hilary Briss > 03/09/2014, 16:39

Yes gentlemen.

Briss is back amongst you.
RE: Bruges

The Boss > 04/09/2014, 10:26
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