Jokes |
12/01/2018, 23:07
Post: #1191
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RE: Jokes
My wife screamed, "You've got no feelings," and stormed out the house.
She's been gone a while now and I've been thinking about what she said. She's wrong, I feel hungry. My boss said I should dress for the job I want, not for the job I have.... Long story short I'm sat in a disciplinary meeting dressed as Batman |
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13/01/2018, 12:22
Post: #1192
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RE: Jokes | |||
14/01/2018, 01:52
Post: #1193
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RE: Jokes | |||
19/01/2018, 23:21
Post: #1194
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RE: Jokes
Me and my mate took some speed and stayed up all night playing 'Name That Tune'.
It was a bit shit really because there's only 4 flavours My wife had a vindaloo last night and today her arse is a bit sore. She'll do anything for a curry. My jokes were all pretty well received at the old people's home this morning... The residents were pissing themselves. |
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21/01/2018, 00:26
Post: #1195
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RE: Jokes
I just read a book on marriage that says treat your wife like you treated her on the first date.
So after dinner tonight I'm dropping her off at her parents' house. I just played Bingo for the first time and I won! That dog's fucking shit at chess. Why are there only 239 beans in an Irish stew? One more would be too farty. |
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26/01/2018, 19:40
Post: #1196
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RE: Jokes
We buried my wife six days ago and now the hopelessness of the situation is finally sinking in...
I've run out of clean shirts. Apparently 98% of married men masturbate on a regular basis. The other 2% still have sex with their wives. My missus used her tits to get out of a speeding ticket today. When the copper tripped over them, she did a runner. |
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27/01/2018, 22:34
Post: #1197
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RE: Jokes
A man was hit by a truck carrying Omega 3 cod liver capsules.
A spokesman at the hospital said he had "super fish oil injuries". I was in London earlier this week and hailed one of them black cabs. I said to the driver "Waterloo please" He asked "What, the station"? "Well, I'm a bit fucking late for the battle" I replied |
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30/01/2018, 14:28
Post: #1198
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RE: Jokes
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The following 1 user says Thank You to StrumSolo for this post: FantasticMR |
02/02/2018, 23:25
Post: #1199
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RE: Jokes | |||
The following 1 user says Thank You to gymaddict69 for this post: StrumSolo |
03/02/2018, 23:18
Post: #1200
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RE: Jokes
Irish man walks into a cafe and looks at the menu and it reads:
Chhese Roll 10p Ham Roll 20p A Wank £10 He then sees a beautiful young woman who works there, with a lovely body and huge tits. He says "Do you give the wanks?" She says "I do" He says "well wash your hands, i want 2 cheese rolls!" |
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The following 1 user says Thank You to gymaddict69 for this post: StrumSolo |
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