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Random ways to spend time with the babes

• Random ways to spend time with the babes

• Random ways to spend time with the babes

  parkaner > 21/10/2016, 23:40

  Scenario number 1 :
  
  An all-night FBI stake-out with Tiffany Chambers, in an old Transit van, with a steady supply of chocolate chip muffins and strong coffee in polystyrene cups.

• RE: Random ways to spend time with the babes

  parkaner > 22/10/2016, 22:44

  Scenario number 2 :
  
  Rapid-response billboard posting duo, the lovely Evelyn and myself are tasked to plaster the capital with up-to-the-minute advertising.
  She climbs the ladder and brushes on the paste, then I hand her up the rolls of paper to stick in place. We never know what it's going to be until it's finished. Yesterday it was a special edition caramel Kit-Kat. Evelyn fancied trying one so I bought us both one on the way back to the depot. It was alright.

• RE: Random ways to spend time with the babes

  Clitterbug > 23/10/2016, 01:24

  Wake up early, morning glory plus im itcy, is it that half packet of Hob Nobs i ate in bed or is it that belly itch i always get while molting, is this just a dream? only one way to find out, grab a big hand full of arse beard and rip it out!!!
  If i bleeds its real n im now fully wide awake!!! if its a dream Kimmy Haze walks in with a palm fulla Savlon and administers ''Ere ya go guvnor samfink for your farmers''
  Drea,ee,ee,eam Dream Dream Dream!!!

• RE: Random ways to spend time with the babes

  parkaner > 25/10/2016, 14:40

  Scenario number 3 :
  
  Went on Bargain Hunt with Cara Brett. She insisted we had to be the red team, she decorated her fleece with scraps of ribbon, I said I was happy with mine the way it was. She got excited by a sugar bowl, spent £250, don't ask me - it turned out to be Clariss Cliff or whatnot. My pick was a stuffed puffin but its wing fell off on the way to the auction, she was not impressed. We made £17 profit and spent it on a fish supper on the way home.

• RE: Random ways to spend time with the babes

  Clitterbug > 25/10/2016, 15:36

  A day trip to Delamere forrest with Karlota, a spot of Nordic walking, she wants to lose a couple of pounds of booty im just along for the view. Following her up a steep gravel path my ski pole gets caught on a tree root and I tumble into the undergrowth, never one to miss an opportunity I tell Karlota ive torn a ligament in my ear and the only way to stop me going permanently deaf is for her to sit on my face and call 999.
  Some 3 hours later I come up for air to find Bill Oddie arguing with the paramedics over the difference between Naturalist and Naturist and why he has the right to stand behind a near by tree with his kex round his ankles playing with his Cock Robin!
  Karlota took no notice, she was comfortable but a little hungry.

• RE: Random ways to spend time with the babes

  parkaner > 26/10/2016, 16:25

  Episode 4 : pick your own strawberries, with Cali Garcia
  
  This took place in the so-called 'Barnstaple Berry Triangle' - it's a bit out of the way but if you want the best, you need to travel.
  On the train down, Cali was stuck on the last clue of her crossword. I was hoping she wouldn't ask me, luckily she looked it up on google (we can all do that, but that's not the point of a puzzle is it?)
  
  When we arrived, we discovered there was a strict ration , only one punnet per picker.
  I took my time and picked the big juicy ones.
  She wanted lots of small ones for better value.
  When she'd finished she took a photo to put on her twitter (you can only see it if you are a fan).
  
  On the way home we shared a packet of garibaldis and she said she had enjoyed the date. I said no I think they're made with raisins actually.

• RE: Random ways to spend time with the babes

  FantasticMR > 26/10/2016, 16:47

  I think this is one of my most favourite forum threads ever.

• RE: Random ways to spend time with the babes

  Clitterbug > 26/10/2016, 17:33

  My redundancy money dwindling I was forced out of early retirement and took a part time job at a bakers in Llandudno making Bara Brith with Jay Rose.
  A friend had warned me of the of the foibles of Rampant girls particularly their lack of knowledge when it comes to dried fruit, apparently one of them unable to distinguish the differences twixt ‘dates & raisins’ my own problem with young Jay was more to do with ratios than type, I thought a 1 to 1 mix, best to keep with tradition, Jay wanted to half the fruit quota thus save a little more towards her ambition to have her own RIB for cruising the Menai Strait.
  We argued, eventually I gave in when Dame Shirley Bassey waltzed into the shop singing ‘Im Coming Out So You Better Get This Party Started’ and asked for a diet Bara Brith, sugar free and light on fruit.

• RE: Random ways to spend time with the babes

  Clitterbug > 26/10/2016, 21:51

  Talked into a trip to the Emmerdale set by Tammy Oldham, didn't really want to go but she said if I did I could shave her when we got back to Chez Rampant, reluctantly I agreed, as long as we can go over to Harrowgate I said, I want to visit Mother Shiptons Cave.
  We booked 2 tickets with National Express Yorkshire Tours and in the days leading up to said trip we practised our ‘Eee by gums’ and learned the lyrics to On Ilkla Moor Baht’at.
  Arriving at the Emmerdale set we were directed to ‘Tit Wookpack’ to join our tour guide, to be honest I stayed in ‘tit pub’ and had a couple of pints of Ephemaral Monk, Tammy wasn't happy I hadn't accompanied her and told me so on the way to Mother Shiptons.
  She forgot all about her disappointment in me though as she stared mouth agape at the petrified items hanging in the mineral rich water, I jokingly suggested to Tammy she should hang her pants there too! she leaned in close cupped my ear and whispered ‘Im not wearing any’ I glanced down into a pool of water and in the upskirt reflection I could see her fuzzy clam, I looked back up into her eyes, we both smiled.
  We never said a word on the coach all the way back.

• RE: Random ways to spend time with the babes

  parkaner > 09/11/2016, 01:30

  Beach-casting with Vicky Narni.
  
  Thought we would grab the chance to try for some early winter cod. I know Vicky's more of a coarse angling type, but I talked her into trying something different.
  
  Lucky we headed out early because the shop only had a couple of bags of worms left, but that left me with enough money to get a packet of plastic beads from the tackle counter. Vicky wanted the luminous ones because she thought they would look good on a necklace.
  So there we were on the wind-swept strand, eating pepperamis by the light of the Tilley lamp, not a bite in two whole hours.
  Can we go home now? I'm bored. Vicky wouldn't let me.
  
  So we eventually ended up with two little whiting and a flounder, at least it was something to take home.
  Bit of a waste of time really, but I tell you what, Vicky can fairly cast, she must have hit it out about 150 yards.
  We're going to try the end of the pier next time, not sure when, Vicky needs to check her shifts first.
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