Best one liners. |
17/09/2014, 02:12
Post: #1
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Best one liners.
I was watching Stewart Francis (Canadian comedian) who specialises in one liners.
I thought I'd start a thread of the best people here have heard, be it from a comedian or just the man on the street. A couple from Stewart Francis. - I was raised by my father; my mother left before I was born. - My father is schizophrenic, but he’s good people. |
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17/09/2014, 17:47
Post: #2
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RE: Best one liners.
"...That's what she said."
Surely has to be one of the greats. Lol. |
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The following 1 user says Thank You to Ekul-MR for this post: Timm24 |
17/09/2014, 18:04
Post: #3
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RE: Best one liners.
(17/09/2014, 17:47)Ekul-MR Wrote: "...That's what she said." What the fuck are you wittering about you slack jawed turd ? |
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17/09/2014, 18:12
Post: #4
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RE: Best one liners.
Jeremy Beadle thought he had a big dick, on the one hand he did, on the other.
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The following 4 users say Thank You to Clitterbug for this post: Bobby72, Ekul-MR, Harddick988, Jazzy B |
17/09/2014, 18:15
Post: #5
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RE: Best one liners. | |||
The following 1 user says Thank You to Kinky4kinkychloe for this post: Ekul-MR |
17/09/2014, 19:09
(This post was last modified: 17/09/2014, 19:10 by Hilary Briss.)
Post: #6
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RE: Best one liners.
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17/09/2014, 21:43
(This post was last modified: 17/09/2014, 21:46 by Randy Marsh.)
Post: #7
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RE: Best one liners.
It's so cold outside, I actually saw a gangster pull his pants up.
Welcome to America- Where being obese is genetics but being gay is a choice. You're not fat, you're just... easier to see. The awkward moment when you mispronounce organism in science class. I almost had a threesome last night I just needed two more people Dating a single mother is like continuing from somebody else's saved game. Lazy People Fact #5812672793 You were too lazy to read that number. My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy..so I got drunk. Does anyone have plans to stare at their phones somewhere exciting this weekend? I eat my tacos over a Tortilla. That way when stuff falls out, BOOM, another taco. Bob Newhart (September 5, 1929-) 'I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'. You gonna deglaze that fucking pan?...I'd deglaze the fuck out of that pan... |
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The following 2 users say Thank You to Randy Marsh for this post: FantasticMR, Timm24 |
18/09/2014, 00:23
Post: #8
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RE: Best one liners.
I’m not a very competitive person… I’m always the first to say it.
I love going on blind dates because you can stare at their tits Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? I was wondering why a Frisbee appears larger, the closer it gets… and then it hit me. A cure for agoraphobics is just around the corner. |
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The following 2 users say Thank You to bi_raven for this post: Ekul-MR, FantasticMR |
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